Raye 08 Woohoooo!!!!

Ok I'm writing this post just to share my Raya. There'll be a lot of pics( I think haha) so if you think It's a bit long then rest for a while then continue ahaha...

Raya At Uncle Cho's
Hmmm..This would be the first raya that they celebrate without their son, my cousin, Syed Nor. He passed away not that far back with the doctors unable to determine the cause of death. He was 24. When I heard the news I was in UNITAR, taking care of the new intake's registration. Through the registration i didn't really show any emotions but when it finished, I began to think about my cousin and the promise that i made to myself and I couldn't contain myself and tears came down straight from my eyes. Well that was then, now I'm writing about the raya so enough of that. When we arrived at the house, we can see that they are really happy to see visitors. It's only just the two of them living there.

Idris, Ila and Uncle Cho in the background

haha a rare sibblings picture


Yem with his DRAMA haha


RUN!!! Ila just farted huahuahua


Yaya doing what she does best..Being Cute haha

Raya At Uncle Bun's
The last time i went to Uncle Bun's house for raya was two years ago so i made it a point to go this raya. He lives just behind well not really just behind but near my house haha. I actually like to come to his house because he's one of the more colourful uncles that i have haha and I really love to hear stories from him..He's a great story teller(with all the dramatization haha). Hmmm come to think of it most of my fathers sibblings are great story teller hahah guess it runs in the family.

One thing that we came to know on that day is that my cousin, Raja Syazwina is good with the camera soooooo~~~~~ hahaha u know what comes next la..

Hmmmm a very good looking family especially the one in gray hahah ehem


Picture with the cousins err well minus one who is in Aussie..Syazwina is the most left


Uncle Bun with his drama face haha and My Abah


Issie: Hmmmmm What pose should i do

Yaya: Hmmmmm why not more of my picture
Yem: Yea~ I'm in the picture


Mama and Abah

Yaya and Uncle Bun with a smile..hmmm he doesn't smile much woh

My Open House 08
On the 13th of October, my family did our Raya Open House. Last year I didn't invite my Uni friends because i knew that my bro is inviting 40 of his friends(well 13 i guess the rest invited themselves i guess). This year I invited them just to save face la hahaha. Yea so this year Nini, Juan, Rishi, Kecik and my darling Julie came. Out of them all only Rishi and Juan who came to my family's open house before. I've been getting stick from Nana because I didn't invite her well yea hahah that's a different story hahaha.

Nini, Juan and Kecik


Rishi and Pak Imam Juan hahaha


Darling Julie wearing a lovely baju kurung..muahhhh

Well, the story is that Darling always wanted to buy a set of baju kurung..Soooo before Raya during puasa month me, Ila and Darling went to Shah Alam to buy her one. We went to err PKNS, SACC and Plaza Alam Sentral(PAS for those who are native there haha). We searched high and low for the right baju kurung for her. When we got it we were really happy..I know Darling was happy..I was really happy because I could make her happy plus she really looked beautiful when she first put on th baju kurung MUAH..

I was actually planning to wear baju melayu for the open house but didn't really have any that matched her's so ok lo...Then one day while Yem was clearing the closet he saw one well the upper part of the set then few days later Ila saw the pants for it...Haha I was like wahhhhhh haha really thank God. Darling didn't really know about this because i planned to surprise her on that day hahaha. SOOooooooOOOO Here it is....

A great pair if I do say so myself haha MUAH


I made the Grilled Lamb and the Cheese Chicken. Yem made the Grilled Squid and the Brocolli
Mama made the Masak Lemak


Haha Yaya caught eating..Yum2

Why la Juan so Gloomy??


Haha Farewell picture I guess..

Juan's Open House
On the 25th of October, Juan and the gang(Ida, Mizi, Hajar, Rayme and Iffa) invited me and the gang haha(Julie, Rishi, Nini, Kecik and Nazmi) to their open house at their apartment. It's the 1st open house that they did together.

Dishes that are served

Uik There's something familiar with these cookies hahah





Haha why la Rishi..You don't want to show how close we are ka?

Actually had fun talking to my friends that day plus we all watched a bit of our "new" Sarawak DVD hahaha which really made all of us laugh. Seeing the hyper us when we were there haha.

Haha Darling and Rishi goofing around outside


"Family" Picture haha

Batch06 Contingent

Batch08 Rules!!!


Haha Kesian Batch09


The Hosts

Well That's the end of my Raya this year. I really think this year I had a fun Raya because went to lots of open houses especially my friends. Hopefully next year would be the same or even better YEAH!!!! haha

I know it's kind of late...err well Raya is one month what ahhaha soooooo Selamat Hari Raya Maaf Zahir & Batin!!!

FRIM-SIFE-PSDM Experience...

On the 18th of October supposedly we(the Alam Inn group(u'll find out later haha)) we to present our final project in uni but it was postponed to the 22nd. I didn.t really have any plans on that day, so that is why when Grace and Trace(The SIFE Twins haha) asked me whethere i'll be coming to their FRIM event i said yes. Well, actually come to think of it I had to go hahaha because my mum is attending and I didn't want to step down from my President post on a sour note. I actually liked the committee members of SIFE so that is why I went.

The FRIM-SIFE event was held to celebrate Down Syndromme Childrens from Persatuan Sindrom Down Malaysia(PSDM) and to raise danation for PSDM's fund. Another objective of the event is to expose the children and volunteers alike to the beautiful nature that FRIM has to offer.

When we reached to FRIM compound we can automatically feel relaxed because what you will see is GREEN..haha In my case, I really enjoy green sceneries and felt really at ease and relaxed there.

All the usual suspects when it comes to UNITAR event ahha well minus my mum and the head of FRIM


My mum giving her speech

Committee members and advisors of SIFE..uik someone is not at the right place haha


The Cutting Ribbon Ceremony


Picture with the children


My sis Yaya..

After the opening ceremony, the first event was jungle trekking. Yaya was really excited about it and wanted to go so much. Me on the other hand, was not so sure about the idea..Not because I'm a bad bad brother haha but the fact that I don't really think that she could stand all the hiking part haha Well we carried on and followed the group after Yaya had her way.

Yaya with one of the UNITAR volunteers


Our guide for the trek. He's actually a funny guy which made the whole trip educational and entertaining haha


The guide(im sorry to say that i forgot his name haha SORRY) explaining and the pic of the 2-INCH ANT WOH!!!!





Yaya:Haih..locations i need to go to for a photoshoot


Yaya posing haha

After the jungle trekking and rest, the next programme was colouring & colaging contest and of course Yaya wanted to take part hahaha

Yaya's busy creating art..haha

After all the children had finish perfecting their works of art, an auction was held. The money raised is to be donated straught to PSDM. It was fun bidding for the children's art. I 'bought two arts; Ain's art and who else, Yaya's art haha.

Hahaha the ART

Group photo at the end of the event..

All in all I had a good time at the event..Woohoooo~~~(didn't know how to end the blog hahaha)

Remember Why; Never Forget..

Remember why I hold your hand and move it ever so slightly..
It's to remind you I'm real and I won't leave you...
Remember why I look into your eyes and smile owh so brightly..
It's because you're the sun that lights up my day...
Remember why I hug you and keep you near so tightly..
It's for you to feel safe, free from any worries...

Never forget that we're together..
Even though I'm not near you...
Never forget that my love is forever..
Even though Time may be gray...
Never forget that we'll get through all kinds of weather..
Even though we're affected by a touch of breeze...

Remember why..
Never forget..
That I love you..
And I'll stay true...

A New Lease of Light..

Ehem..Well let's draw the focus away from the err well miserable post and lets think about the future haha. I had a great weekend future-wise. Let me share the things that unfolded.

On Saturday my mum, President of the Persatuan Sindrom Down Malaysia( would link you to the website but currently it's still a work in progress ), invited me and a bunch of my friends to break fast with them at the centre. The thing that got me excited was that it was the First event that bought my darling(kisses to her) and my family together. Haha ya i know it doesn't really sound like a good material but if it matters to me then it is good material, in fact it is a GREAT material huahuahua..err as i was saying....yea..I actually just wanted to see how my darling reacted to the whole situation, just want to see a reaction, maybe a bit of awkwardness here and there haha but it all went 'boringly' haha she was just normal and no, there was no awkward silence. The thing that made me happy was that, at that very moment, i can actually visualize her as part of the family and the person that i worried the most, well worried about she accepting my darling, she meaning my mum, did one thing that made me smile all the way when i heard about it. My mum actually announced that my darling was my girlfriend to people. That to me showed her acceptance ( i think..haha) and that really made my day. When we got home I found out another thing..My darling was actually nervous during the event haha she was just as great of an actor as me hahah silly darling..muahhhh

On Sunday, I had attended a talk hosted by UNITAR's SIFE(Students in Free Enterprise) and given by Nicholas Yeap. I was actually curious about the board game Zeros to Heros and that was actually my main purpose in going to the event but as soon as it all started i began to immerse myself with the talk. It was really an eye opener and the talk brought out the confidence in me to pursue my goal and objective in life which is to open up a lodging business with my friends. Beforehand, I had the destination, now i can see the road to get there, all i need now is the car or bus or train whatever mode of transportation that can get me to my destination. Rishi was there also and i can't help to be excited for him to because he was so excited after the talk. Buzzing all the way haha In a way I think he is starting to believe that our lodging business idea thing is achievable and there is nothing that we can't do. I believe the quotes below applies..

"You are only as small as you think"

"If you think you can, you can..If you think you can't, you're right"

Haha well that sums up my happy and fruitful weekend, will write more in the future haha

P.s- Im really ok already. No need to worry just needed to release that's all TGIB ( Thank God its Blogspot) haha

Much Asked..

I'm suppose to be in uni right now but I've decided not to go. It'll be as though I'm not there if i went anyway. I'll accept any consequences that is to come from my decision for right now, at this very instance, I'm not at the best frame of mind. My mind wandered all day and all night, aimlessly not knowing the purpose of such expedition. One thing is clear though, as write this entry..I can feel that my heart had sunk to the most darkest of depths. Last night i had a dream. A dream so sad that when i woke up tears flowed endlessly. Writing seems hard for every word though not clear, has my sadness embedded into each and every one of them. As if writing my final words on this earth, that is how i feel.

I've often in the past likened myself to a clown. Entertaining is my calling but clowns do feel lonely. I feel lonely. I may put on a straight face and be indifferent to words, all kind of words from pleasing to killing, but to tell the truth I did react. Every stab, every wound opened, every one of them reaches my heart without any shield to deflect or protect it and yet I smile. For our bond, i kept on smiling.

"Do you feel my pain??"

It's been twenty two years and this year is my darkest. Filled with sadness, hate and self-repulse. If it was not for efforts from those i care about, i would surely be lifeless and lay there breathless choked by expectations and pressure. A man of extremes, that's who i am. It brings me great happiness that i have friends such as all of you but it also brings me the greatest of sorrow when what i say is not heard. Talk to the wall, an act i've been accustommed to. Oh how i wish that the wall can respond for i am truly lonely. Call me selfish, I don't care and I sometimes seemed needy but that is how I am. All I want is to be heard, that is all i want, that is all i need because i I really feel as though I am alone in this big and sometimes cruel world

"Do you really care how I feel??"

As I sit here pouring my feelings out, my mind wandered again. Am I the cause, am I the factor that made our group of friends to slowly diminish. Am i Scrooge, am I the Grinch. Rayme, Satya, Ann all had connection with me one way or another. Was I the one who broke the chain? Was I the one who influenced the way of thinking? Was I the bad guy? Somehow I do feel the answers to all the questions is yes and if so, I'm truly bad in nature.

"I'm sad, I'm really in deep melancholy"

I'm sorry for all that i've done..
Sorry for asking too much...

Sincerely Yours
Mr. Selfish

Nearing the end of the 'vacation'..Finally

Its been awhile since I've written any kind of post what so ever(yea i know its a common theme when it comes to me..haha) but the time and mood was not there for me to conjure up any kind of material. Tonight i felt like it, felt like sharing, expressing and simply paint my feelings on a blank page. If my feelings were to be a painting, the canvas would be filled with colours of brown, grey, dashes of red and speckles of yellow.

Brown, colour of Autumn and home of my melancholy. For the last nine long months, i was never my old self, my old bubbly self. I was confined in a cage of responsibility and conflict. Respect and Naivety got me there in the first place. Led me straight into the trap that cost me my student livelihood. Now that time had passed, I look back at those unending days. Yes i did suffer to the point of breaking to pieces but in the end i thank god for giving me these challenges in life for it has given me the workout before my marathon of life.

Grey is Uncertainty. Neither white nor black, grey represents my uncertainty in whether I can be the person i used to be.

"After a long vacation your old self will be coming back"

When i heard you said this my mind wondered whether he really is coming back or did he plan on abandoning the idea of returning from the get-go. Somehow I can sense that he wont be coming back that soon. Guess he's having a great time there wherever he is but i hope one day he would come back because my darling misses him and i would give anything just to make her happy.

Red is Love. Love has eluded me for more than half of my life but i finally caught up to her in the end. Even if dark clouds were all about i knew ever present was the silver lining and that silver lining is u my darling, my beautiful darling. You made my days seemed worth living and you're always there whenever i needed you. I'm yours forever darling and i promise to Love you till the end of time.

"I LOVE YOU DARLING"

Yellow is Joy and Happiness. My journey in life is clearer than ever before. Never did i imagine to be given the gift of sight. Visions of my future are etched in the back of my mind. From now on that is the finish line that i will run to. Yellow also represents warmth, just like the sun hugging the earth that's how i felt. My darling and friends were by my side all the way through my bad times and good. Always there to lend a hand and say..

"We are here for you"

Thinking about it brings tears to my eyes. Tears of immense Joy.
You are My Friend..
My Family..
My Love